


31 Days of Resonance

by microbellamy



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 31 days of resonance, @je_oh_no on twt, Angst, DoTae + Haechan family, Fluff, M/M, Magic, MarkRen fluff hehe, Nectar, Rain (Dancing in the Rain), Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, chapter 3 suicide warning, city, domestic dotae husbands, tags will be updated when chapters are published, that are dangerous or nsfw, trigger warnings in place on chapters, xiao yang angst because im a slut for xiaoyang angst haha
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:08:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26756314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/microbellamy/pseuds/microbellamy
Summary: Participating in @je_oh_no (twitter) 31 Days of Resonance for October :)This will be chaptered and hopefully updated every day with the theme of the day~
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Mark Lee, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong, Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun/ Liu Yang Yang
Kudos: 20





	1. Magic (DoTae + Haechan)

“This is why I don’t let you plan parties for Donghyuck,” Doyoung said. He appeared from the door leading to the back yard with a homemade birthday cake settled delicately in his hands. “Now tell me why you hired a magician.”

Taeyong watched as his husband placed the vibrant pink and blue sheet cake on the table beside the other foods that the two painstakingly prepared all night. Haechan was turning five and Doyoung made it a big deal that it be a birthday that their adopted son could remember for years; that is until he asks for some big party for his sixteenth.

“You act like they’re not having fun!” Taeyong stood beside Doyoung as they hovered over the food table. His hand swept over the small of bad to pull him into his side and rest his hand upon his hip. “Can you just chill out for a second? Hyuck is turning five, don’t you want him to see you enjoying yourself?”

“Don’t think you’re getting away scotch free, Yong. I’m still mad at you for eating the cookies I made yesterday.” Doyoung slipped out of Taeyongs hold to return back to the kitchen.

Haechan and his friend ran about the spacious backyard as they played a game of tag. The little boy hasn’t been in their life for a long time, only two years, but as parents, Taeyong and Doyoung felt like they needed to do everything in their power to make Donghyuck feel like he has a true family.

That’s why they’re willing to break their backs by setting up a birthday party, to take him to Disneyland, to read bedtime stories, to kiss the scraps and bruises, to vanquish the monsters under his bed, and to tell him how much he is loved every single day. Taeyong stays home when Haechan is sick, he takes him to swim lessons every Tuesdays, and he bathes him before Doyoung can scold the two for rolling around in dirt. Doyoung cooks traditional Korean meals so Hyuck can have a taste of their culture, he tucks him into their bed when a storm keeps him up at night, and he taught him how to tie his shoes even though he insists he’ll wear sandals everywhere forever.

“You’re right, hyung,” Doyoung had stepped back into the yard with Haechan’s present from his fathers and held it out to Taeyong to take. “I shouldn’t be so uptight. This is for Donghyuck, not for me.”

Taeyong softly smiled as he reached over to give his husband a small kiss before Haechan trampled over to them. The little boy giggled as he wrapped his arms around Doyoung’s legs in a tight hug.

“You wanna do presents before cake?” Hyuck and all his friends cheered as he ran off again to the other side of the yard where the present table is set up. “Here honey, can you open this one first for us?”

Doyoung motioned for his partner to hand the gift box to their son as he plopped down on the green grass and ravaged at the wrapping paper. Taeyong placed his arm around the youngers shoulder as they peered down at Haechan pulling the action figure that he’s been begging for out of the box.

The little boy jumped up with glee as he once again raced over to enveloped Doyoungs legs in a hug and moved to Taeyong to smash his bright cheeks against his father's thighs. Taeyong rubbed the dark brown mop of hair as he let Donghyuck pick out the next present to open.

“So you don’t like magic?” Taeyong prodded at his husband as he gave a fake pout in his direction.

“I never said I didn’t like magic! I just don’t think magicians are performing real magic.” Doyoung upturned his nose at Taeyongs teasing and leaned away as he tried to his neck.

“Then how is magic real then, honey?” 

“You remember that shooting star we saw on our wedding night? I had wished that we would receive a blessing that would unite us more as a family. And I believe that whatever “real” magic is out there that we were able to have Donghyuck brought into our lives.”

“You’re so cheesy,” Taeyong announced, his cheeks turning into whiskers as he smiled brightly at Doyoungs words. The younger lightly punched Taeyongs side as he blew air out of his nose in annoyance. “Then I guess I should thank you for believing in magic. If you didn’t wish upon that star then I think we wouldn’t have Hyuck here with us now.”

They turned as their son cheered loudly at the new baseball glove and balls resting in his lap. Taeyong knew that neither him nor Doyoung were athletic so we hoped Haechan wouldn’t see the broken smile he gave him, covering it up with a thumbs up.

Doyoung truly felt like in this moment magic was happening. Watching their son grow up in front of them, being able to have him in their family to learn and grow, was more than what Doyoung had thought would come from wishing on a shooting star.


	2. Space (WayV [Ten-centric])

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A WayV Moonwalk MV AU

“Captain Ten of starship  _ Cassiopeia _ reporting from spacecraft  _ Andromeda _ .”

_ Log No. 34 _

_ Date; November 6, 3001 _

_ Time is 13:56 _

“It has been one year, two months, and six days since launching from Singapore Space Station and the start of Operation 电心. It has been four months and twenty-four days since losing my crewmates. I had been in contact with them until all communication was lost. Starship  _ Cassiopeia _ is still stranded on Saturn.”

Ten stood in the communications room aboard the space shuttle  _ Andromeda _ . The camera before him recorded his daily log.

“Second in command Qian Kun had taken position as captain after I was hurt and needed to be returned to base camp on  _ Andromeda _ . I had sent crewmates Wong Yukhei and Liu Yangyang, who had piloted me to the shuttle, back to Saturn to finish out the mission.”

The room was cold, Ten had turned the electricity off to conserve fuel. He rarely sleeps. The sun is out only ten hours a day. It gets really cold when there’s no sunlight.

A blanket is wrapped tight around Ten’s shoulders as he looks away from the camera. The sun is peeking out over the far right side of Saturn. His day will start soon.

“I was in contact with the voyage shuttle  _ Archimedes _ that Yukhei and Yangyang were aboard when they encountered a storm system in the upper atmosphere of Saturn. They were knocked out of orbit and from my position on  _ Andromeda  _ I found them floating away from the main space shuttle and Saturn. All of their controls and power were shut down. I have been out of contact with Soldier Yukei and Flying Officer Yangyang for four months and twenty days.”

Ten had broken his ankle after falling into a ravine near where their operations were set up. He insisted on staying on Saturn by his crewmates made him go back to the main spacecraft. They knew that they didn’t have much more to finish up on the planet so they would complete their mission and head back to Earth soon.

An accident. Ten blames it all on himself. But he knows it’s an accident. A freak of nature that a storm, that only comes twice a Earth year, would appear just as they were returning to Saturn. He’s the captain, he should have been there to help them. He shouldn’t have broken his ankle. He shouldn’t have let his crewmates convince him to go back to  _ Andromeda _ .

“For four days after losing two of my six crewmates I was in contact with communicator Dong Sicheng aboard _Cassiopeia_. I had given the command for them to stay put on Saturn, to not leave until the operation was complete. Then I had given my role as captain to Kun, entrusting him to finish out the mission. On the fifth day, all contact with the base camp was lost. The orbit of Saturn allowed me to see that Cassiopeia was still mounted where we left her.”

The sun had now fully appeared over the dome of the planet Ten hated so much. His ankle throbbed consistently as he went to shut the blind over the bay window. Coming back to his spot in front of the camera Ten continued his log.

  
“I have complete faith and trust in Second Lieutenant Kun. We added Wong Kunhang to our team for this reason,” Ten paused. It’s everyday that Ten wonders if Kun had disobeyed orders. That Kun had left Saturn on the other shuttle,  _ Plato _ , to try and return to  _ Andromeda  _ or to search for Yukhei and Yangyang. Of all the years he trained with Kun he should know better than to second guess his own friend, but he knows that Kun would put his emotions before orders. “This… this completes captain's log number 34 on November 6, 3001. Captain Ten, signing off.”


	3. City (Jaemin centric)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW // suicide

The elevator smelled of perfume, a strong scent that invaded the occupant’s nostrils. The umbrella in his hands dripped rainwater on the floor of the lift. It was a lingering summer night, it was perfect sunny weather up until the evening where the impending storm system finally unleashed its torrent.

Na Jaemin clutched the handle of the umbrella tightly in his hand, his knuckles turning white.

“Please…”

A pleasant ding rang, trailing behind his whimper. The elevator came to a slow and steady stop on the top floor; level 34. Suddenly, Jaemin let go of his paracel, letting it clatter to the ground as he removed himself from the lift.

The hallway leading to the door was brightly lit. Gold colored scones on the wallpapered walls illuminated a path from the closing lift doors to the cold metal door now standing in front of Jaemin. His sweaty palms rested on the bar, he could feel the breeze coming from underneath the door.

Hanging his head and squeezing his eyes closed, Jaemin kicked his foot against the door in anger. He didn’t know what to do.

Jaemin took in a deep breath and forced the door open and walked out into the rain. The sky was dark, the clouds completely covered the moon so all he had to guide him to the edge of the building were the bright city lights of Seoul. He grew up in this city, having seen and met every building. He loved Seoul so much.

“Fuck this city,” Jaemin growled, throwing his head skyward and feeling the raindrops settle on his face. Running a hand through his hair, he made his approach to the ledge, peering over it suddenly. It was a long way up, but it was a short fall down.

He wished someone had seen him today. That they had stopped to talk to him. For a friend to call and ask how he was doing. It’s been so hard. It feels like the world hates him. That even when he tries so hard that the world will crumble in and destroy any piece of happiness he has left.

And it already has.

Jaemin climbs up on the ledge, feeling the breeze blowing stronger than it did when he walked into the hotel lobby. The sky continued to rain upon him as he stared at the ground below him. The cars still moved, the world still spinned, and yet somehow it felt like Jaemin had no reason to live anymore. Why can he be happy? How can he be happy in a world that treats him like dirt? 

The buildings surrounding him burn brightly, a beacon in the dark. He stares at the yellows and reds and blues and greens, trying to pick out shapes and figures behind the lights. He once again hoped that someone would see him and come up to pull him down. Before he pulls himself down over the edge.

The city was hell for Jaemin having never given him an opportunity to properly live a life he loved. He remembers his mother coming home and telling him his father died in a car accident. His father did have a driver's license. It wasn’t fair. The hospital in Gangnam district that refused to take his mother's insurance and treat her pneumonia. She suffered for six months. No other hospital could help her. She died at home. The university kicked him out after he stopped going to classes. It was after his mother's funeral.

Jaemin felt like the world was laughing at him. It took his parents away, stole his future, and sent him to the top of this building where he knew he would end it all.

“Fuck!” Jaemin screamed at the top of his lungs. He swayed and felt another gust of wind plow into him. How was he to hate the world when the world wants to see him die? It was hard to tell if he was crying or if the rain was falling faster now.

Today, Jaemin woke up determined to die. No, actually, he felt like the world had told him he was going to die whether he wanted to or not. A gentle whisper in his ear that repeated every hour and every minute. He had no choice. Just like every other defining moment in his life. The world told him how to live his life. Jaemin feels like he's been a puppet in this evil little game called Life.

His head was spinning and his legs trembled. A lump formed in the back of his throat that he tried to force down.

Why should he continue to let the world dictate how he should live? Shouldn’t he have a say in how the events in his life go? He shouldn’t be miserable. He should be happy that out of billions and billions of lives he is still alive today. That even though his parents are gone and he's at risk of losing his apartment and he may not have enough money to eat everyday he has friends there to help him when he needs it.

But why aren’t they here now to help him?

As if on cue, in his front pocket Jaemin’s phone buzzed, shocking him as he pulled himself out of his head. Debating on whether to answer it he raised his head to the sky once again and forced his hand into his pants. Looking down at the call he noticed it was Jeno. The cute nickname Jaemin gave his long time friend flashed on the screen. He chuckled before sliding to receive the call.

“Jaemin-shi! You’re not at your place, I thought we were doing movie night?” Jeno whined on the other side of the call. Jaemin could hear his other friends beside Jeno. “Did you get tied up at work? Just tell us your door code and we’ll wait inside until you're done.”

Jaemin couldn’t help but to laugh. The frog stuck in his throat leaped out and his legs stiffen as he bellied a boisterous laugh. How can he feel so suicidal when a friend like Jeno calls when he needs it the most.

“Jaemin? Hey, are you okay?” Jeno had moved away from the group, Jaemin noticed, as he talked in a hushed tone. “We can do this another night. But do you want me to stay here until you get home?”

“Jeno-ah, I love you,” Jaemin mumbled. He pulled all the strength he had left in his body to step backwards off the ledge. His foot landed on the asphalt but he lost his balance and fell onto his back. He continued to laugh loudly as he sat up. “I’ll be home in fifteen. You guys can go in, the door is unlocked.”

“Hey, I love you too,” Jeno spoke, and Jaemin felt like his friend was grinning ear to ear, same as he was now. “Do you wanna talk? I’m here for you anytime, Jaemin.”

“When I get home, okay?” They said their goodbyes and laid back down and looked to the sky. The clouds had parted and the moon glistened. Jaemin had wiped the water from his face and smiled a toothy grin. The world maybe horrible, but he won’t let that bring him down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a really personal chapter for me, I really projected a lot on to Jaemin and I hope that whoever reads this knows that they aren't alone; in your thoughts or even in people around you. A lot of people go through the same thing. There are people there for you.


	4. Rain (Dancing in the Rain)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lowkey MarkRen hehe

“I honestly can’t believe you.” Renjun and Mark huddled under the awning of the Starbucks as one of the most horrible thunderstorms tumbled through the Gangnam district. It was late afternoon, the air was muggy and humid, one of the most notable signs that summer was in full swing, and that a storm was brewing. And yet both of the idols forgot to bring an umbrella.

“I don’t know why you’re yelling at me, Renjun! It’s not like I can predict the weather!” A horrible roll of thunder clashed right over head of the pair, making Mark and Renjun bump their heads together. “And where’s your umbrella anyway? You’re the one that wanted to go out!”

“I’m not yelling! You’re yelling!” Renjun pushed his friend away from his side as he crossed his arms over his chest. He pouted as Mark tried to peek over the edge of the awning to see if the storm would pass soon. There was no sign that it would let up soon.

“Come on, let’s go,” Mark spoke, motioning for Renjun to follow him. The older only got a couple steps away from the front window of the coffee shop until he turned around to see that his younger friend wasn’t following him. “It’s not going to stop raining for a while. Let’s just walk back in the rain.”

“No! I’m not going into the rain,” Renjun huffed, turning his back completely to Mark. All the brown haired boy could do was roll his eyes, walking back to Renjun to set his hand on his shoulder. “Call a manager or something to pick us up if you wanna go back already.”

“We both left our phones at the dorms. Stop pouting and let’s walk before it picks up any.” Mark slid his hand down to take Renjun’s wrist in hand, pulling him alongside Mark’s even strides. The pair tried to stick as close to the building as possible but with the wind and how much it was raining their shoes and ankles became soaked in a matter of minutes.

“Mark! Please let’s just stop, I’m getting all wet,” Renjun whined, having tugged on his friend’s hand to slow him down. “Can’t we just go in and find a phone somewhere? It’ll only take a second. I can call Jaemin to ask him to get a manager.”

“Fine, but I’m not going in. I don’t want to track water in,” Mark complied. Renjun had ran off again to a shop they passed earlier, knowing that they would let him borrow their phone. While the older waited for the pink haired boy to come back, he lent against the nearest wall and watched the rain fall. “Renjun really hates the rain.”

“Hyung! Manager-nim will be coming by in ten minutes!” The younger had called as he walked back a couple minutes later. Mark nodded his head and continued to watch the rain drip off of the awning they found space under.

The pair waited, listening to the patter of the droplets and the thunder all around them. Two minutes passed, five minutes, eight, ten, fifteen. The rain still poured heavily and they became impatient. Eighteen minutes, twenty minutes.

“Renjun,” Mark spoke, his friend perking up from dozing off beside him. “I’m walking back.”

“Wait! Mark, he’ll be here just give it a couple more minutes.” Renjun tried to grab a hold of Mark’s arm but he had stepped out from the cover of the awning and into the street. Instantly Mark’s shirt got soaked and stuck to his skin, his hair did the same as he brushed it away from his eyes. A smile spread across his cheeks as he turned around to coax Rejun into the rain. “You’re crazy, hyung!”

“No! I’m having fun!” He spun around with his arms wide open and his face pointed towards the sky. The water felt cool against his hot skin, melting the humidity that clung to his body tightly. A puddle had already formed near the sidewalk and Mark had approached it to splash into it. “Come on Renjun! It’s just water!”

Mark continued to dance in the rain, kicking his feet in the air and pulling silly moves as he smiled brightly and avoided any cars that tried to pass down the street. Renjun had to admit it was fun watching his friend twirl and giggle like a school kid. He knew he would have more fun if he joined him.

Pushing off of the wall, Renjun hopped into the nearest puddle and sprayed water into Mark’s back, getting his attention. He spun around and found Renjun's tanned face glowing and his body soaked to the core. The pair raced around the street, surprised that an officer or a pedestrian hadn’t yelled at them to leave the road. Mark reached out for Renjun’s hand as he spun the younger around and held him tightly to his chest. They both laughed aloud and twirled their way out of the street.

“Ah! Hyung! I think that’s manager-nim!” Renjun pointed to the car slowing down and pulling close to the sidewalk. He raced to the window that rolled down and talked to the driver, then motioning for Mark to get into the car. They settled in the backseat together, drenched and shivering as their smiles were still plastered to their faces.

“Thanks for dancing in the rain with me, Renjun.”


	5. Nectar (Xiaoyang)

The tall prairie plants enveloped Dejun as he fell backwards, his back landing hard on the indian grass. Looking towards the sky he saw the clouds floating peacefully, casting shadows on the ground as they moved by. It was late summer, the fingers of autumn slip in, noticeable by the flowers around him dying. But the only flower that remained upright and bright and blooming was the compass plant.

It towered over Dejun’s still figure as he tried to pick out the patterned petals. They were everywhere, it was kind of hard to miss even when he first set foot in the prairie. He loved to look at them more than smell them, they actually really didn’t smell like anything special. Just another sunflower plant.

They were called compass plants because they followed the sun. From dusk to dawn, from the moment the sun rose over the horizon the tall stalks lifted from the ground and pointed their golden brown anther towards the rays of sunlight. Compass plants were a guide for many hikers. It was something that reminded Dejun of his boyfriend.

Dejun was a dejected person before he met Yangyang, he never believed in the future or true love or absolute happiness. But finding Yangyang, and having the young boy there as a guide in his life made Dejun have a greater appreciation for the small and grand things in life.

They went on hikes often. Yangyang loved to galavant through pine tree woodlands and bushels of big bluestem. Dejun just tagged along because he enjoyed seeing his boyfriend in such high spirits. He wished constantly that he could be more like Yangyang. To after complete faith and trust in the world to lead him in the right direction and to make him happy forever.

It seemed that the two were opposites. Yin and Yang. The good and bad in the world. Happiness and sadness together. The sun and moon.

Dejun, although he would never admit out loud to other people besides Yangyang, his boyfriend made him happy and content. That before he met the young boy he thought he was going to have to go through the troubles and toils of life until the end. That there was nothing out there to turn his miserable life upside down.

Yangyang just fell into his lap one day, carrying that adorably sweet smile and bright pink cheeks and soft touches. He was a gift from the world, Dejun looked at it. He felt that the world was apologising for giving him such a horrible time that it sent Yangyang to him to make up for the trouble.

Now he chuckles at the fact. Finding it oddly true yet so weird to consider.

Yangyang and Dejun dated for three years. They were in love and it was plainly obvious but at times their personalities were draining. Dejun felt like more and more that his own negative thoughts and attitude were revealing itself the longer he saw Yangyang be blooming and hopeful. It made their relationship unbearable at times. That Dejun had to keep being happy for someone that already felt so joyous and passionate for the world. That he had to be happy for someone else when he couldn't even be happy for himself.

The compass plant still reminds Dejun of the glorious time he had with Yangyang. All the mischief they got into, the long nights they spent together, the chilly mornings that enjoyed wrapped in each other's presence. Sometimes, Dejun even ventures out to Yangyang’s favorite prairie, and again he would never admit it, even to himself, in hopes that he could see him again.

To thank him for the sweet memories they made together.


	6. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more xiaoyang,,, go figure

Yangyang sat in the living room, the hallway and porch lights on and the TV hung up on the wall was turned off. He sat in complete silence waiting for Dejun to come home.

He heard the key turn in the front door lock but the usual excited emotion he feels when his husband returns home from work has dissipated. Yangyang sits numbly on the couch, his head turned to his hands rung together in his lap.

“Yangyang? You stayed up for me?” Dejun had walked into the living room, standing in the threshold. Yangyang’s back was towards his husband but he could feel his eyes, his unlovable golden brown eyes staring at him. “You didn’t have to, honey”

“I wanted to talk with you.” Yangyang’s voice was flat, monotonous as he stood up. His head was still pointed to the floor, but he had turned around to face Dejun nonetheless. “I know where you’ve been going.”

“Where I’ve been going? What are you talking about? I’m at work everyday, honey.” Dejun chuckles as he takes a step into the living room closer to Yangyang. The latter raises his head as he hears his partner's footsteps approach, raising his hand out in front of him to make Dejun stop walking.

“I called the office the other day. Hoping I could stop by and grab you for dinner a little early. But they told me you left at four. You don’t get off until five, Dejun.”

“Yangyang, I just had to run-”

“I called the next day. Asked if you were around to talk. They said you left at four. I had called at 4:30.” A silence hung in the air as they both waited for the other person to speak. Yangyang had dropped his hand but his gaze held strong with Dejun. He took a shaky breath before speaking again. “I’m not stupid, Dejun. I can smell the cologne. You don’t even greet me when you come home. At night you move farther and farther away from me in bed.”

“You’re being ridiculous, Yangyang.”

“Then give me an answer, Dejun.” Yangyang was furious now, knowing that whatever Dejun had to say next was going to bury him an even deeper grave. “Where’s your wedding ring.”

The porch light outside had flickered off on its own and the air conditioning kicked in, creating a barrier between the sentence Dejun had to say next.

“I like loving you but I don’t love you.”

Yangyang clenched his jaw and nodded his head. He knew Dejun wouldn’t put up a fight. He just hated knowing that this day would come. That he would have to give up the love of his life because the man he married no longer loved him.


End file.
